December 12, 2017

My “baby” just turned 9. Watched videos of her on FB playing in the snow with her dog, sheer joy. Bittersweet. I don’t wish she was still little, just wish it would SLOW DOWN. I’m trying to hang on to every fleeting moment and she’s wishing them away as fast as they come of course. She got a fender acoustic for Christmas. Been asking for a real guitar forever. On YouTube tonight taking first lessons. I wish I could show her some things, my hands are too far gone though. 😦
I keep waiting for the Santa questions. They’re coming soon I’m sure. Maybe just one more year…
Even folding laundry last night was rough… was trying to put a pair of socks together. On third attempt I said fuck it and threw them all in a basket. Really frustrating what this steals from you. Piece by piece, I’ll lose my ability to do art, maybe sew, work in the garden. FFS, just cut them off and give me robot hands at that point. Hell I’d take them now if they’d work like mine did 10 years ago.
Becoming a walking medial who’s who… Hashimoto’s, Bouchard’s Nodes, Heberden’s Nodes, Osgood Schlatters. I wish they’d just leave me alone, all of them, and let my parts be mine the bastards. T finally getting injections for his back. I wish they could shoot my hands full of that stuff about once a month in the winter. Tomorrow temps supposed to go back up. High pressure==less pain. Pressure drops and every nerve feels raw and exposed, every bone full of shards of hot glass. Still, have to get chores done, take care of animals. I press on.
M called and said puppies are doing well, doing ok at new job, she’s going to be a grandma. E-kitty got in a fight with something… hopefully not neighbor’s dog. Couldn’t get him to leave his house last night. Spent the past two nights in the garage with D where he was safe and could keep close watch. Seems MUCH better today.
J&H coming from Ark next week. This week trying to finish up shades for great room and get something accomplished at lake. I’ll be lucky if my ficus is still alive, need to get it moved here. Want to get this damn house done and sold. Some help would be nice. Started new article for dirt on the blinds. Not all that exciting, but something at least. I haven’t written anything there in a while. Not much to write with no garden and yard in maintenance only mode for past year.
So many plans for this spring. Hope I have time and energy to do them all. Knee is better at least. I can get another round of shots if necessary. If it holds out, I’ll be a gardening fool come April. Maybe Feb. if there are nice days. 😉

Ok, laundry. Ugh.

B

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