Waiting until tomorrow is torture. I want to get things signed and done NOW. Supposed to be known for my patience, but I’m sick of waiting. Sick of wondering. Sick of what if’s. Want something concrete. Now please.
Some heat might be nice too. Hate being cold. Ready for spring, now that Christmas is over. Want to be outside, in the yard, not stuck in the house. Need to be making a grocery list. Rather be reading my vampire romance fluff instead. So very constructive.
At least need to get up and do laundry today, so I can say I did something. I could write a little. Drug out my book after a 2 year hiatus and started working on it again. I forget how easy it is to get lost in writing, until I’m doing it. Hard to keep my head in anything else when I am. Trying to figure out how to deal with the love scenes. Don’t want this to push border into erotica, definitely don’t want to go direction of cheesy romance novels. It’s horror/suspense… May have to re-read Mockingjay, see how she deals with them. Don’t remember those being over the top and detracting from the story. Don’t want it coming across like that 50-shades inner goddess crap, although I did watch the movies and found them better. 😉 Tame… but better. For all the hype, I’m thinking that most people out there must have had some REALLY boring love lives. I digress.

Ok, so list, laundry, writing. Go.
Really, you have to go Belle.
Now.
maybe after you check up on your vampires… LOL

-B

Failed at NYs Resolution idea already… daily positive writing. I’m positive I will forget to do this more often than I remember to do it. Does that count? LOL 

Painted hallway beautiful silvery grey today. Thinking lighter tone for ceiling/opposite wall. I’m covering the house in 50 shades… lmao. 

Decided on dark woods instead of white trim,  looks more craftsman, better fit to the house, will help age it a bit and distract from the gold- finish everything, 90’s gaudy hell. 

Pretty trim bought to cover up butchered patch job on living room windows. Piece of perforated sheet metal coming to recover the intake register.  I’ll need to find trim for a frame. 

Painting this week at other house. Need to get done as much as possible. Still no letter in mail. >:-(

I guess it gives us more time to prepare. Need tires on car, brakes, pay down CCs. Will get back to playing with spiders when it warms up a bit. Need to water trees in spite of cold. SO dry right now. 

Drogo time.

-B

Still deciding on resolutions here. Something positive though.  So much pain,  anger, mistrust for so long.  Feel very much alone sometimes,  but when I think of all the betrayals,  prefer to stay that way. 

Want this year to be better. Stronger. Less about loss and more spending time doing what I love. Chasing my dreams, not self-centered, bitter people. Done chasing.  Let them go. Go away,  don’t come back.  I want to fill all the available space.  No room for them anymore.  Fill it with art, music, love, my daughter, plants, dogs, fresh air, adventure.  No room for those that hurt.

Painted a wall white today. Plans to add trim. Progress.  

-B

Happy New Year. Spent mine on couch with my kiddo while she played with my hair.  Laughed a lot. Watched Goonies. Played with Lenore. Watched ball drop, went to bed. I said I was most looking forward to garden this year.  Went to dinner Mexican place.  Very cold out,  mostly good day. 

Read lots of good things that happened to ppl in 2017. Want to start writing more of my own. Found this amazing Gaiman quote.